DEAR ERIC: I have two friends who never initiate calls or plans. I’ve discussed it with both. One promises to do better but never does. The other tells me that she doesn’t call anybody, but I can call her anytime. I struggle, however, with thinking that actions speak louder than words, they don’t really care, and the relationships would fall away if I stopped calling. How do I fight feelings of hurt and rejection?
– Uncalled
DeEAR UNCALLED: Decide what actions hold the most meaning for you. Are there other ways that the friends show that they care for you? It may be that you’re someone who needs reciprocation in communication. That’s fine but that might mean that these friendships aren’t right for you. Be open to the possibility, however, that they can show up for you in other ways.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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